Archive for November, 2011

pitiful

Posted in H, Uncategorized on November 20, 2011 by rikki5

H said hi to me today
strange after I just had a rant about him
I didn’t feel anything
except self-pity that I even felt happy that he said hi to me

I said “hello” and asked “how are you doing?”
he said that he was fine and asked me how I was doing
I responded, “I’m ok” and “Is it raining there?”
he said it had tapered off…then asked if was raining here
I told him I felt lazy today
and that I had not been outside
he said “You should go outside”
I said thanks for saying hi
then left.

I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t feel anything other than pity for myself for even talking to him. But it was kind of like I am not feeling happy that he said hi now. I am just feeling whatever about it. So, I think it’s a good thing, maybe I really don’t feel anything anymore towards him and I’m finally over him. anyways, Awkward.

Today must be the day of people getting in touch that you haven’t talked to in a long time. This morning I received a voicemail from an old friend saying that he met a girl from Seattle over the weekend and she reminded him of me. “She had the same mannerisms as you and everything,” he said on my voicemail. That is just weird that there is some chick out there who is from the same place as me and who is like me. Is this for real, or is this guy just making stuff up for an excuse to call me? Then he goes on saying that he is still dating his girlfriend and she is really jealous and goes through his phone and stuff and i shouldn’t contact him, unless I get the message within the next hour. It was 8:30 a.m on a Sunday, I sleep in on Sundays. Anyways, he’s like that’s just the way it is. I haven’t talked to this guy in like 3 months is he serious? And why is he meeting other girls when he has this supposedly psycho jealous girlfriend? This is the guy who I told his best friend off too! lol.. I never bothered calling him back.

Oh, and just as I’m writing this blog entry Aaron messages me! haha he’s like hey how’s it going, haven’t talked to you in awhile. Hope things are good. OH OKAY, it’s only been A YEAR since we last talked– Why don’t these men just leave me alone! Shouldn’t he be conversing with his wife from Thailand to come to America! Seriously, he definitely needs a woman who doesn’t understand English because he says some pretty offensive stuff. I just didn’t even respond to him either. It’s like so fake. Oh hey,you were a complete douche to me and now you want to be my friend? give me a break, dude. Why don’t you go occupy the United Embassy for your Visa and move to Thailand. hahA !

 

Rant Much?

Posted in H, Music, Uncategorized on November 15, 2011 by rikki5

Listening to Depeche Mode’s Walking In My Shoes…from the best of Depeche Mode Volume 1. I’ve been listening to a lot of Depeche Mode lately for some reason. Also, a lot of 80s music. I really like Depeche Mode, they were one of my favorites as a teenager. I guess I am officially old(er)…hehe. I am listening to Found Out About You by Gin Blossoms now.

Here is the video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qB6XdAkkAo&ob=av2e

This song makes me think about someone in particular. It makes me think about H. Because I did find out about H, and it was pretty ridiculous. How I could have devoted an entire section to “H” on my blog?! haha..I feel like deleting them, but I guess I’ll just keep them now for posterity sake.

H is another story. I want to forgive him but he has been so beastly that I am not even sure how I could. I even think about sending him something for Christmas coming up next month and I’m like that would be so nice of me..but that is my problem—I am so nice. Still, I didn’t like to see us part on such unseemly terms. I guess I will just “LET IT BE” I don’t hate H, he just infuriates me ! And frankly, even though he wanted to talk again I didn’t call him back because I don’t really want to talk to him anymore. I am tired of trying to act like how he acts isn’t hurtful. I mean really ..who does he think he is?! ~Rant~

I guess I have been avoiding writing about H for awhile. But that is only because I haven’t been thinking about him at all. I realize now that I was just obsessed over who I THOUGHT HE WAS and not who H REALLY IS

haha…sorry H! I still would hate anything bad to happen to H. I hope now that he realized finally that in life you can’t treat people that way and expect to get away with it. I am a very patient person but there comes a time when you have to realize that someone just is not on the same level as you. I’m definitely feeling like I am on a higher level right now. In fact, I am constantly getting carded so it adds to my confidence levels. It’s the little things, remember?

Well, I didn’t really want this post to be an H rant but that is what has turned into and so there I leave it.