Archive for January, 2009

Kate Bush Will Never Be Mine

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , on January 29, 2009 by rikki5

There are certain female performers that I really admire.   I feel like Tori Amos has basically documented my life through her albums.  I know I am just interpreting them but each album corresponds to me at a certain period of my life.  It seems like Tori is describing my journey, especially on Boys for Pele and Scarlet’s Walk.  I think the only Tori albums I never related to are Sleeps With Butterflies and Strange Little Girls.  Tori’s multiple personality got a bit out of control with Strange Little Girls.  I like her as just five different people besides the Tori we know and love.  Anyway, ever since people started saying Tori Amos sounds like Kate Bush I have been enraptured her as well.   I think I like her almost as much as Tori.  I admire the independent and creative spirit of both women.  They both remind me of powerful ancient goddesses trapped in the modern world.  My favorite Kate Bush song is below. The goofy images kind of are distracting from the song itself. You really need to listen to this on headphones.   I also really like “Cloudbusting” by Kate Bush along with the corresponding video.  Donald Sutherland is in it!

“Never be Mine”. My interpretation of this song is about a deep and longtime love affair. The woman has devoted her life to a man but for whatever reasons this man is not as devoted to her. Yet he doesn’t want to let her go either. He feigns trying to keep her but in reality he is too engrossed with other people that enter his life.  All she wants is to be his wife but he does not allow it because he wants to be free. She decides that she will never find love again if she leaves him but she would rather be alone than with a man who does not love her above all else. In this respect, she owns her own power to change her unhappiness; however, in the absence of the only man she has ever loved she feels emerged in isolation.  She finally realizes as she  is “looking back over my shoulder… at you happy without me” that this man will still be the same if she leaves him.  She may even realize he already has another lover lined up to take care of him if she leaves. She knows that she will never be the same though because of how deeply she loved him and how much she counted on him.  She resigns herself to being alone and the fact that she may never have the “thrill and hurting” of life that so many women take for granted like having children. It also makes me think of something from Scotland or Ireland in the middle ages, I picture a man taking home his wife but he doesn’t really love her and she knows that he is just using her to bear his children and do his chores.  So in that scenario, she will never experience the “thrill and hurting” of true intimacy.  The sorrow in Kate’s voice brings tears to my eyes every time I hear this song.


Twittering vs. Blogging

Posted in Life, Society, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , on January 29, 2009 by rikki5

Twittering vs. Blogging- or is it Tweeting?  I am going to start writing each day in this if it kills me.  I finally succumbed to the Twitter craze that is sweeping the nation.  It seems a little bit juvenile to me especially after I read this article.  Twitter seems to attract people who are too lazy to write their own blogs.  My blog may be kind of lame but at least I take the time (and I’ve rededicated myself to this task) to actually write about stuff.  I guess on the positive side there are not the annoying applications that caused me to delete my facebook and it seems like an interesting place to network.  I give every social network a try so I will explore and then make my decision I guess.  Before I joined Twitter, I have already deleted my myspace and facebook. I deleted my facebook yesterday and restored my myspace only a couple months ago. Sometimes they just really annoy me. Plus, I’m not a very social person (what writers are?). I’m a loner and have been for the majority of my life. Strangely enough, people are always trying to befriend me in my classes. I’m going to try to work on building real friendships. On facebook, I basically had a bunch of people I barely talk to on there and only 3-5 close friends. I wish I had the cool facebooks where the aunts and cousins are commenting and posting pics of their little girls and boys, where dear friends are commenting and sending me invites to cool parties. Most of my family and friends are not even on facebook or myspace. My boyfriend (at least I think he is my bf – that’s another post) accused me of not being myself on it (because I use a fake name) and limited me so I couldn’t even message him on it. I had the underlying suspicion he didn’t like what I had to say. I wrote on his wall “I think it’s funny how you pretend you don’t talk to me each day”. The next thing I knew I was limited. So I deleted it! It’s his fault! But really, I wasn’t really interested in what 99% of my “friends” on there had to say. Maybe I need cooler friends, which I’m going to work on. Until then, I’m whoring it up on Add me!

Sometimes I feel as if technology is sucking the life out of me.  I yearn for a handshake or being able to have coffee.  Instead, I am left with virtual quotes about what people are doing.  It makes me become very despondent about modern living.  I wish I lived in the days before internet and tv.  The days when things were simpler and when roles were more defined.  Perhaps in the era of radio programs would be suitable.  Yes, I enjoy being a “modern” woman and earning my own way but sometimes I really do wish I could have a couple of little ones and stay home and take care of them and my husband.  In this fantasy, my husband provides for all of my needs and encourages me to buy at least one new pair of shoes each month.  In return I reward him with a sparkling house, beautiful well mannered children, homemade meals, and a scotch and a smoke next to a roaring fire when he comes home each day! Oh, what joy!!

Okay- back to reality.  I’m in my office and it’s raining.  I have to finish these interrogatories and then head to my Brit Lit class after work where we are reading some very intense literature from the middle ages.  After that I drive for an hour an a half to make it back home.

*Update* Several hours later….I reinstated my facebook.  I hope he doesn’t limit me still. 😦